Sasodei com
by 13darkstar
Summary: What happens when Deidara finds Tobi watching something unexpected? CHAOS! And poor Itachi's caught in the middle...


"DEIDARA-SENPAI!" *GLOMP*  
"TOBI GET THE HELL OFF ME!"  
"BUT TOBI LOVES SENPAI!"  
"WELL SENPAI DOESN'T LOVE YOU SO FUCKING GO AWAY!"  
Itachi sighed as he watch the madness in the Akatsuki base living room unfold.  
"ITACHI!" Deidara screamed. "GET YOUR FUCKING TOBI OFF OF ME!"  
"NO," Tobi wailed. "TOBI LOVES SENPAI!"  
"Tobi," Itachi sighed. "Don't you want to be a good boy?"  
Tobi looked over at him, "Y-yes Itachi-senpai."  
"Then come here," Itachi said plainly.  
"Yes Itachi-senpai," Tobi said, sounding rejected as he climbed off of the arsonist and stood besides Itachi.  
Deidara sighed and walked over to his door. "Thanks Weasel," he called over his shoulder as he went inside and locked the door.  
Itachi sighed again and turned his attention to a obviously disheartened Tobi. "What's wrong Tobi?"  
"It's no fun being a good boy," Tobi mumbled in disappointment.  
"Hm." Itachi stood and thought about it for a moment. "I know," he reach into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. "Here."  
Tobi's eye went wide when he took the paper and read,'PUPPET BANGING TO THE MAX. REDEEM FOR ONE MONTH FREE TO .' "I-itachi-senpai," Tobi whispered. "THANK YOU ITACHI-SENPAI!" Tobi shouted as he glomped Itachi.  
Konan poked her head around the corner, "What's going on in here?"  
"Nothing," Itachi replied. He pulled a business card out of his pocket again featuring ' ' and handed it to Konan. He then whispered to Tobi, "Don't tell Konan I gave you a free month. She'll pay."  
Konan's eyes went wide and she tucked the card into her cloak. "Thanks Itachi."  
"No problem," he smirked. They suddenly heard loud bangs, moans, and scratches coming from the artists' room. Itachi added to Tobi nonchalantly, "You should go use your, um, gift now Tobi."  
"YAY," Tobi glomped Itachi he climbed off Itachi and glomped Konan. He then snuggled his face into Konan's chest and murmured, "Hm, boobies," and then ran to his room, shut his door, and began to view the videos from his new favorite site without headphones.  
"I uh think I'm gonna go use this card now Itachi," Konan said as she walked away toward her room and slammed the door.  
Itachi sighed and flopped down on the couch and sipped his strawberry smoothie he had left there earlier. Soon the noises in the artists' room stopped (and the echo from Tobi's room) and Deidara walked out in black, baggy pants and messy hair. He landed on the couch next to the weasel and took a sip of said weasel's smoothie. "Mmhmm strawberry," he murmured as he got comfy on the couch. The loud noise started up again from Tobi's room.  
"Sounds like Tobi's pretty busy, eh weasel?" Deidara laughed. Then after a particularly loud moan, Deidara shot up off the couch and choked out, "What the fuck was that?"  
"Nothing," Itachi replied innocently. "Ignore it, Deidara."  
"No wait a second," Deidara said as he ran toward Tobi's room. "TOBI!" he shouted. Itachi appeared right behind him and tried to pull him away but the arsonist just yanked himself out of his grip and burst in the door. "WHAT THE HE-" the bomber froze. He didn't move till Itachi pulled him away and closed the door. Then he snapped out of it. "WHAT THE HELL! TOBI GET THE FUCK OUT HERE NOW!"  
Very slowly, Tobi opened his door and came to stand in front of the weasel and arsonist. "Y-yes senpai?"  
Deidara angrily shoved his hand into his clay pouch. "Tobi," he hissed. "What the hell were you watching?"  
"Um," Tobi began, but he stopped after Itachi signaled him not to tell and held up another coupon. "Nothing senpai."  
"Really?" Deidara retorted. "You sure about that?"  
Tobi seemed to shrink a little bit. "Y-yes senpai."  
Deidara chuckled and smirked. "Tobi," he laughed. "I'm going to kill you." He then proceeded to chuck a clay bomb at Tobi's family jewels.  
"AAHHHHHH ITACHI-SENPAI!" Tobi screamed as he dodged the bomb and hid behind the weasel.  
"Oh no you don't!" Deidara screeched, as he started to chase Tobi in circles around Itachi. The weasel continued to stand in the center of the madness for several minutes, watching as the Akatsuki's living room was slowly blown apart by small bombs.  
"Itachi-senpai," Tobi gasped as he once again hid behind him. "Please protect me from senpai."  
Itachi sighed and, after finally taking pity on the exhausted Tobi, said, "That's enough, Dei."  
Even after trying to blast of Tobi's precious bits for several minutes, the pyro was still over flowing with rage. "Get out of my way, you stupid weasel, or I swear I'll-"  
"Deidara what's going on?"  
The pyro froze in his tracks, and then very slowly turned around to face the new voice. Standing at the edge of the burnt carpet was Sasori, who had just returned from a mission and seemed even less patient then usual. "Well?"  
"Um... Hehe it's nothing, Sasori-danna!" Deidara exclaimed nonchalantly. "Just, uh, having some fun with Itachi and Tobi that's all!" The pyro looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole and hide him. "So um, how was the mission, Sasori-danna?" Dei asked nervously.  
The puppet sighed and started to walk toward the arsonist. This must have been some unspoken message because the poor pyro started to act even more nervous.  
"Um, it probably went really well, uh danna?" Deidara sputtered out frantically. "Haha look at your puppet body, no signs of wear and tear, eh dann- ITACHI HELP!" Deidara jumped into Itachi arms as the smaller puppet came to stand in front of him.  
Sasori held out his arms. "Give him to me, Itachi."  
"NONONO, ITACHI-DANNA YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT, WHY DON'T WE GO GET SOME ROSE ICE CREAM, YEAH? THAT'S SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA, QUICKLY LET'S GO DO THAT NOW, YES? HURRY NOW ITACHI THE DOORS RIGHT OVER-NO WEASEL HELP!" Deidara screamed in a panic as Itachi handed the frantic pyro to Sasori.  
"Can you grab the red vial from my bag, Itachi," the puppet asked boredly as he held onto a struggling Dei.  
"Hm."  
Sasori took the vial from Itachi, and held the tip under Deidara's nose. "ITACHI WHY ARE YOU SCREWING ME OVER LIKE THIS?! DANNA N-oh dammit..." The scorpion shifted the now sleeping pyro into a more comfortable position in his arms.  
Slowly, Tobi peeked around from behind Itachi. "Itachi-senpai is it safe now?"  
"Yeah," he replied. "You can go back to your room now Tobi, but take this." Itachi handed Tobi his promised coupon and sent him back into the safety of his room. As Sasori started to carry Dei back to their room, a crow flew in the window carrying an envelope. Said crow landed on Itachi's shoulder and handed the package to him. Inside was an enormous amount of cash. "Oh, Sasori," Itachi said, as he counted out a certain number of bills and gave them to the puppet. "That's your cut for this month."  
He merely nodded, "Thanks Itachi. Oh and this serum will fog up his memory of the last hour or so, so he won't remember the cameras."  
"Hm."  
Sasori walked into his room and shut his door. Shortly after that a combination of shouting and moans could be heard from the room that left Itachi wondering whether or not he should have saved the pyro. Shrugging it off he started walking down the hall, counting out more bills.


End file.
